A Tim and Eric Most Handsome Investigative Report
I doubt it has escaped your notice, but Eric wears glasses. He always wears glasses. It doesn’t matter what crazy costume he’s wearing, what sort of muck he’s rolling around in, whether he’s dressed like Carol or Wayne or Casey’s brother- the man has frames on his face. I’m used to the glasses; I tend to look past them into those beautiful blue-grey eyes framed by those long lashes…ehem. If anything, the glasses mar my view! But like so many things, you realize what you’ve got when it’s gone.
I saw this picture and it freaked me out. My immediate response was to wish glasses on him to bring back the Eric I know and love. To photoshop!!
Ahh. That’s better. But then I got to thinking… surely in the hours and hours of footage that exist of this man he must have taken off the glasses before. Because I am a weirdo and an obsessive and I do this sort of thing as a hobby, I started to collect screenshots of Eric sans glasses. It has taken me awhile, but I’ve amassed a collection that I am about to share with you.
Eric in the larval stage had not yet developed glasses (or didn’t wear them in pictures).
When you are jabbing a crow into your eyes, there is simply no room for glasses.
When your partner with rage issues slaps the glasses off your face and you are a drug addled crack whore giving birth in your trailer, there’s no time to find those specs and put them back on.
Climbing brownie mountain = hazardous to eyewear.
Getting riddled with bullets on your recumbent bike will knock the spectacles right off your face.
Kissing your own horse mask does not call for the old “duo-monocles”. Everyone knows that.
Does Mama Chippy wear glasses? Don’t be ridiculous!
I hit the jackpot when it occurred to me that Eric is quite a laugher. Watch any blooper reel or behind the scenes- the man is always cackling. When he laughs hard enough, like so many of us do, he cries. When he cries he takes off the glasses to dry those baby blues. Score for me!!
In the Road Trip Dummy behind the scenes, Eric had to take off the glasses to get the mold made of his face. Such a Hansy Boy, even with straws up his nostrils!
Hopped up on goofballs at the Red Sox game…
This one counts, right? Well, I’m counting it because I like it. Fuck you! You’re not the boss of me! You can’t tell me what to do!
Finally, although I prefer Eric with his usual specced-up face, I want to convene an emergency session of Congress to call for an injunction preventing him from ever wearing these little purple hippy glasses again. Ever. I hate them with a white hot fire. I’d take naked-face Eric any day over these. Evidence that they should be shot into the sun…
I’m sure you’ll all agree and sign my petition and give to my kickstarter and whatever else I just made up.
Now for a return to normalcy to bring you all down…
Ahh, that’s better.
Can you think of some I missed? Let me know!
This is fucking amazing.